With Or Without
by dizzy - in - the - izzy
Summary: Abby's thoughts about the past months. Spoilers for S7. Oneshot.


**So, did you see tonights new episode? I did, and it was amazing! The whole Ziva and Gibbs talk got me crying! Ah, that was great!!!! Good way to end all of the talks. :D**

**And, I don't want to have any more spoilers in here, but I'll just warn you. :D SPOILERS!**

**ZivakissedTonyonthecheek.****ZivakissedTonyonthecheek.****ZivakissedTonyonthecheek.****ZivakissedTonyonthecheek.****ZivakissedTonyonthecheek.**

**Haha, that was a happy moment. I was so happy, and then I just broke out in giggle at the whole part where Tony runs out saying I'm a cop. :D Great part. The pee part was good too. Micheal Weatherly and Cote de Pablo, though, are just AWESOME at eye conversations. :D**

**Okay, enough.**

**Title: With or Without  
Summary: Abby's POV on the past months with and without Ziva.  
Spoilers: Season Seven, basically.  
Disclaimer: I don't own. Blah to those who do. You're great. :D**

* * *

I may spend almost all of my time down in the lab, but I know a lot. Yes, I am like a ninja. I always know what is going on. Well, except…. never mind.

But, I do. Because I get around. I hear a lot. I'm in with all the cool people, so to speak. I got around, and I heard and saw a lot while Ziva was gone. Those three months, I knew more than anyone did. Besides the people whose secrets and feelings I was knowing…. that doesn't make sense.

Timmy and Tony got a lot closer. It was strange, really. Nevertheless, they got closer. I liked it. It was like a bromance, but not really. They just because best friends and, boy, were they funny. They were like two brothers fighting over who got to sit in the front seat while their stoic father shook his head. I could tell though that underneath all of the jokes and smirks, both of them were hurting. They were confused, and they leaned on each other for support.

Timmy did a good job at helping Tony. I think that without Tim, Tony would have been completely lost. Gibbs wasn't going to do what Tim did, and I'm not with them enough. Tim was the best man for the job, and he did a good job. No one better could have helped Tony. Getting past the hurt _and_ rescuing Ziva, McGee did great. I think Tony even started to call McGee Tim, which makes me smile.

They're growing up.

Tim got thinner too. I mean, he works out and all, but he's looking really good now. He has lost some of that baby fat, and started to look like the older gentleman he is. He'll never look edgier and mysterious like Gibbs, but he's working on it. You'll never know until you try, right?

Tony stopped gelling his hair. I think it looks great now. I liked the whole gel and spike, but this whole natural and swished to the side thing… it suits him. I didn't notice at first, but he also looks a little more mature. He may not act like it, but he sure looks it. He doesn't look like a frap boy with a badge. He kinda looks like a grown man with a badge. He's still funny and soft and sweet, like he'll always be, but he doesn't look playboy-ish. I don't think I'm making sense.

I know Gibbs was hurting, somewhere. You just can never tell with the sly, gray haired fox. He's sneaky, just like me, only better. I know that during those months without Ziva, he had to be thinking about her and wondering where she was like we all were. Ziva is a part of our family, and she always will be. I think that's why we all work so well together. And why it took a little while for all of us to get used to the thought of getting a replacement. I heard that either Gibbs scared off new recruits, or like that one chick, they resigned. It's almost as if Ziva, Tony, and Tim were meant to be on the same team. Meant to work together. I know I got a little unnerved when I saw a new recruit even looking at the empty desk across from Tony. Loosing Kate was hard, don't get me wrong, but I knew Ziva longer.

I really missed her.

And I didn't mean to blow up at her in my lab. I didn't, I just felt like I needed to get some stuff off my chest. I know I didn't hurt her, because I kind of talked myself down after accusing or saying something to her, and then I hugged her. She hugged back, so…

I couldn't be happier that Ziva is back. I hope she stays too. I don't think any more time without her would be good for all of us. And, according to Tim, Tony seems happy. He's always happy, but right now you can see it in his eyes. That's been missing for a while. I remember when it completely left that time he thought Ziva was dead. I felt so sorry for him. He really was shaken up.

But, we will never think of Ziva as being dead again… I hope. If we do, I'll kill her myself.

Or not.

Nonetheless, we won't. Ziva is going to stay alive and well in our sight.

We can live with or without her.

Even thought without her we are kind of a mess, we miss her, Tony gets all grouchy, Gibbs gives everyone that looks, and recruits run the other way, and…

Yeah, we're just better with her.

End of story.

-Abby.

Tony shook his head as he finished the e-mail Abby had sent him, albeit by mistake. He knew that because it was that kind of e-mail. The kind that you typed, but then deleted before you sent it. He had done it plenty of times when he needed to vent, but wanted no one to see. His finger hovered over the delete button for a second, before he smiled and moved it away. The short e-mail was so heartfelt, and so… Abby. He couldn't delete it. It was like Abby's insight on the past months, and Tony didn't have the heart to delete it.

Personally, he wanted to stick it on his fridge just to smile every morning at the words on the paper.

"Hey McGee, got the dead man's bank account records?" Tony yelled, remembering why he opened his e-mail in the first place. McGee nodded, printing out a piece of paper and handing it to Tony.

"Thank you Tim." Tony said, and McGee rolled his eyes. Tony rolled back to his desk, but not before looking over across from him.

He had picked up the habit while she was gone. He always looked at her desk, just to make sure he wasn't dreaming and she was still there. He didn't want to believe that her desk would ever be filled again by anyone but her. So, as he had looked over there a thousand times before, he expected to see no one. It was an instinct. But, his eyes came to rest on a working Ziva David. Tony's smile reached his eyes, happy to see his partner sitting across from him again. It was like getting everything you wanted on Christmas, your birthday, and even not on your birthday combined and times by one thousand.

Putting the paper in his hand down, he reached into his desk drawer. He had been saving something special, for that day when everything was good again and he could actually do it. Pulling his hand out of the drawer, he placed two paper balls on his desk before arching his arm back to hit Ziva.

"Don't even." Ziva said, not bothering to look up. McGee laughed under his breath at Tony's shocked face, shaking his head.

"How?" Tony asked, and Ziva looked up at him. She smirked, folding her hands on her desk.

"I'm a ninja, yes? You've called me one in the past." Ziva mocked, and Tony scoffed.

"I sure did." He said before throwing a paper ball at Ziva. She laughed, catching it before it hit her and launching it back. McGee ducked as it turned into an all out battle. Amidst all the ruckus, Tony looked at his computer for a second. The last paragraph of Abby's e-mail jumped out at him and he smiled.

Yes, without Ziva they could live.

But they were better people when she was around.

* * *

**I kinda see Abby as one of those people who would do this. I know a LOT of people who do. It's fun, writing a letter to yourself and not sending it. :D I do it all the time. Although, once I did send it to someone. Luckily, it didn't matter.**

**AH! So, excited. Reviews would be lovely, as the sudden weather change here just messed my health up, and my chest is as tight as steal buns. Or... whatever.**

**In your review, if you are so kind as to leave one, tell me anything you liked or disliked about the new episode. Tell me your AMAZING feelings about the kiss on the cheek, or the Gibbs and Ziva talk, or McGee and his cute ness. Or Abby actually yelling kind of angrily.**

**Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening, and Good Night. Where ever you are. :)**

**Izzy. :D**


End file.
